Sunday, November 2, 2008

Movember – Understanding Depression – Beyond Blue



Today is the First of Movember and I am supporting the cause this year with a meaning and purpose that you cannot possibly believe. And this photo was taken on Halloween.So I have started clean shaven.

To donate please visit www.movember.com.au. My account is 1341061 - so please help.

It is just over twelve months since I was diagnosed with Depression – that is absolutely unbelievable, me who always considered himself indestructible, in control of any situation. Suddenly an understanding of those times when I felt alone, distressed and acting like a totally out of control idiot started to become clear. The pain I have caused is at times unbearable.

The sadness of that is the only people who ever saw that were my family, the people I loved the most. They became the victims, the people who were hurt the most, the people I let down the most. The even sillier part of this the way I drove myself into that depressive state thinking that I was doing the right thing working for them. Never really stopping – never taking the time to rest and actually enjoy the life I thought I was working so hard to achieve.

I have tried hard to rationalise all of this but that no longer matters I am moving forward and dealing with my life – I can only try to make up to those people that I love and pray for their forgiveness.

The most amazing part of this trip over the last twelve months is watching people and their reactions to the the big “D” word and realise the world does not have any idea about depression. Whilst it does not only happen to men, the comprehension of men that it can happen to them and the way they set up their actions leads them down a path of personal health denial. If we are to change the paradigms that set up this self denial then we need to get out there and start talking about it. Oganisations like “beyond blue” are working hard at trying to bring awareness to Mens Health Issues particularly in the area of mental health.

I have been told depression is just an excuse, it is normal tough it out, it is just stress, it will pass. The fact is the people close to me equally do not know what it is about or how to handle it. Yes, it is my responsibility but the feeling of rejection also has not helped in any way at all. If anything it has just made the whole deeper and blacker. The need to educate the community on this issue is enormous.

I write this openly and honestly and hope the community will get behind Movember this year. the community and organisations like “Beyond Blue' need help to get their message and support into the community. C'mmon give us a hand and support me or your friends in raising money for this wonderful cause.
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